Not a Real Teacher

This writing challenge is like a mining. I can share a lot of stories! Sometimes, my stories came up from a challenging experience. Other times, it stemed from super boring days. Now, I want to share how my regular days go in 2021.

I teach online classes, I work in a private company for education, not in the school. Back then people often asked me, why didn’t I choose a school and become a “real teacher”? I was intrigued and applied in a school. I became a teacher in a school and I decided to quit for scholarship opportunities (which were failed hahah). Working at school has its consequences: I’m not able to spare time for my scholarship hunting. However, I haven’t applied any scholarship this year. I’m planning to apply again but I’m a bit worried that I’m going to fail. The failures sting!!!! If you say, “don’t be afraid of failures!”, I can say it’s not the failures that made me reluctant. It’s just, I felt like a loser at times. However, learning in my 20s, part of growing up is embarrassing yourself. I’ll grit on it!

The thing that makes me enjoy to be “not a real teacher” is I can learn a lot differently. I was the type of rebellious student who somehow got their way because I’m just a wit. I was not the type of super “polite and obedient” student back in the days. So, when I teach in a class, somehow, I unconsciously teach them to be rebels. Sometimes, I admit it backfires. I had the “upper hand” on giving them grades. Some students held grudges on me because I didn’t give points as what they expected. Even if I had the evaluation tools on my hands, sometimes they didn’t understand it. However, it’s probably on my ways of communicating that is not effective. It’s my responsibility to help my students understand my evaluation approach or any approach in my teaching style. Definitely I’m not JUST a teacher, I’m a learner as well.

I think accepting identity eventhough it’s not ideal by other people is a lesson worth learning. My day to day basis is enjoyable. I love the dynamics. It suits my current lifestyle. If someone asked me why I don’t be a real teacher, I can definitely answer them: I’ve always been one.

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